I QUIT.
Don't want to speak anymore. USELESS.

Another damn story of mine.
Lately me and my lil brother had a fight.
He's trying to get the puppy away from me and i disagree.
I accidentally hurt him by my fingers but not that really bad.
Then he punched me twice! That punch was really heavy! It really hurts!
I scream and complain then we exchange sarcastic words. The nerve!!
After that he's not contented at all, he said so many bad things to me!
That i'am flirt and so whatever! Take note he's only 10yrs old!
Whatever i'll do he always have a side comment!
Like he teased me a lot! I'm really losing my nerve!
Maybe if i'm other people i do punch him so heavy!
Good thing i didn't let that evil side of me. Gawd!!

After that i cry inside the bathroom, can't take my heartaches no more.
Am i not worth to respect? Is it not enough to him how i serve him
and treat him as a good sister and friend?
Did i became so kind so that it's okay to do that to me?
How come he do that?! x(

I can say that me and my grandmother are not really close.
The fact that she lives in BOHOL and just having a lil time here in cavite
just to take care of my younger brother.
Yeah she speaks other dialect so that we can't communicate well.
Actually, I can't understand bisaya dialect at all, just the basic ones.
So expect me not to understand what my lola trying to say and vice versa.
She can't also understand my points.

There are times that she's the reason why i'm upset or so whatever because as usual
we had a misunderstanding, she didn't get my point!
I don't know what to do to her! As of now my patience really goes smaller.
Can't do but to understand her situation and her age. Err.

Then here is her statement that got my heart really broken.
Last night while me and my mom were walking, she told me
that she and lola had a conversation about me.
My lola said that she will not be shocked if she know that i will be pregnant later on.
FYI, she got pregnant when she's only 17! And she's comparing me to her! Duh!
Also the fact that she knows that i have a boyfriend that's why she think so.
She also said that me and my boyfriend was so PDA!
Gawd! Sitting together is PDA to her?!
That's how conservative she are! I really don't know how to prove myself to her!

Other factor that she also said is that i'm a LAZY girl!
That i'm not helping in household chores and i just let tita irene to do it all!
She can't even see that im working here like a MAID! Yeah i'm feeling that.
The fact that i'm the only daughter here so it's my job!
Tita Irene is here temporarily with her husband Tito Naldo with they're 3yrs old
son, the reason why they're here is because Tito helps
the worker in painting the house.
So our house is really messy and needs to be clean at a time.
She's only seeing that Tita Irene working!
For her information, i washed the dishes and clothes!
I even do the household chores!
Why can't she see it?
How come that she appreciate other people but not me as her granddaughter?
I'm really tired, tired on proving them that im not that kind
of girl that they think about, not like other teenagers.
I'm different and very far from them!
Hell, i have my plan and dreams!

I'm very downhearted at this moment, can't believe that my own lola will judge me that way.
I hate being judged, who doesn't anyway?
I really need someone to talk to, someone who'll comforts me
and bring back my self esteem, i'm really losing my confidence. x(
Is anybody there?

It's not really easy to pretend that you don't care to that certain person.
I'm really missing him so bad, i think of him every time. Dunno why??

Are you also alone? Did you feel that you stand in solitude in this crowded world?
Did you enjoy the company of yourself or do you hate being alone?
You know, in this life i learn that loneliness is not a desirable option,
but often it helps to unclog one's mind.
There's a positive way in spending a few minutes alone,
away from the maddening crowds and delve deep into your soul.
As you drift into the chasms of your thoughts, you will find harmony with the world.

Just a thought, "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out."
All those who have had their hearts trampled upon will agree that the
presence of a friend can ease the pain.
So, if you have a friend going through a tough heartbreak, make sure to be around.
But in my case? The people i thought who would be there in my fall was the people
who didn't came around. HOW SAAAAD. x(
But it's okay, that's life anyway and besides they are busy with
their lives so better not to disturb them. x)

Well, i was never the one who patiently pick up broken fragments and
glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new.
What is broken is broken and i'd rather remember it as it was at
its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as i lived.
I believe in saying that, "The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."
Sad but true. Right?

Waa. Soooo dramaaaaa!